Revelations
by bericdondarrion
Summary: Beth is buried behind Father Gabriel's church after a short funeral service, and the grieving group sets off on the road. Immediately follows the events of Coda. Daryl/Beth.


_"For as much as it has pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear sister, Beth, here departed…"_

Father Gabriel raises his voice as Maggie's sobs grow louder. He's holding a bible in one hand, and a cross in the other, as he prays.

_"…We therefore commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust…"_

Daryl feels like he's in a dream. He's half-listening to the priest while replaying what went down at the hospital over and over._ I get it now._ The gunshot. Her body falling to the floor.

_"…In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life…"_

Daryl hadn't even decided to pull the trigger on Dawn until it was done. Then he was on his knees, covered in Beth's blood, cradling her body. _Beth... no... please..._

_"…Through faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord…"_

_It wouldn't kill you to have a little faith,_ he remembers her saying. He had carried her out of the hospital, the way he'd carried her around after she twisted up her ankle.

_"…Amen."_

Father Gabriel closes his bible, and whatever small amount of control Maggie was holding onto snaps. She falls to her knees, her body shaking with every sob. _"No,"_ she keeps repeating._ "No, no, no..."_ Glenn is holding her, trying to calm her down with soothing words that Daryl can't make out.

Daryl stares down into the grave, at the box that was crudely hammered together with scraps of wood. She deserves a real coffin, but it's all they had. Rick and Tyrese built it when they all got back to the church, while Daryl and Carol fixed up Beth. Carol wrapped a bandage around Beth's head, and Daryl wiped the blood off of her face. Finally, Daryl had put his leather jacket on her. He didn't have anything else to give her, and he thought it would be appropriate, what with the angel wings and all.

"She don't even look dead," he'd said, after they laid her out in the coffin. _I know you look at me, and you just see another dead girl._ "Looks like she's breathin'."

"It's just your mind playing tricks on you," Carol had said. And when Daryl checked again for a pulse, he knew she was right.

It was all happening too fast. Now she was in the ground, and soon enough the hole would be filled. _And what's gonna fill the hole inside me?_

Daryl looks around at the group, at everyone's devastated faces. Even the ones who didn't know her are crying. Glenn, his face wet with tears, is lifting Maggie to her feet.

_You ain't never gonna see Maggie again. _

Everything they had ever said to each other's coming back now. And everything they didn't say.

_I'm not gonna leave you._

_That was the last thing she ever said to me,_ he thinks, and suddenly he's angry again. Angry at the bitch who shot her. Angry at whoever took her to the hospital. Angry at the walkers that showed up where they had been staying. Angry at Beth for trying to take down an armed fuckin' cop with a pair of scissors. Mostly though, he's angry with himself for not being able to protect her.

Rick picks up the shovel then, ready to start digging, but Daryl stops him. "I'll do it," he says quietly.

"You sure?" asks Rick.

Daryl nods. He knows everyone's watching him. The way they all watched him when they first got back to the church; watched while he screamed and cursed and damn near destroyed the place. It took Tyrese and Rick both just to calm him down. Then he sat on the floor between the pews, and sobbed into Rick's shirt.

Time slows down. He's dimly aware of everyone heading back inside as he drops pile after pile of dirt onto the coffin.

By the time the grave is completely filled, it's dark outside and the stars are out. Daryl's muscles ache and his shirt is clinging to him with sweat. He finds the crooked cross that Carl had made, stakes it into the soil, and crouches down to pack the dirt in around it.

How had he been so close to having her back, only to lose her forever? He remembers one night at the funeral home when he was laying in that coffin and listening to her sing._ We will drink beer all day and our guard will give way, and we'll be good. _He remembers the thrill of burning down that house together. Teaching her to track, how to shoot his crossbow._ Pretty soon, I won't need you at all_. That stupid drinking game that turned into a fight, that ended with him crying. His surprise to feel her wrap her arms around him from behind. _Don't you think that's beautiful?_ He would've been happy to stay in that funeral home with her forever._ So you do still think there's good people around?_ There was so much he wanted to tell her. _What changed your mind? _But then it was all over, just that fast. _Oh._

"You said you weren't gonna leave me," he says, crying. "What the fuck am I gonna do now?"

Daryl isn't sure how long he sits out there, crying, cursing, regretting... but eventually dawn breaks and the early morning light comes creeping in over the trees. He hears hushed voices coming from near the church, and boxes being loaded into the firetruck that Abraham had driven back to the church.

Soon enough Rick comes out to the grave and sits right down next to Daryl. They don't speak for a long while.

"It ain't right," Daryl says, eventually.

"No, it's not," Rick says. "But we gotta keep on going."

_I'm not gonna leave you. _

"I loved her," Daryl says.

"I know."

Rick stands and offers Daryl his hand to help him up. His legs are cramped and his knees are weak; but Rick steadies him.

"We're gonna get through this," Rick says. He gently squeezes Daryl's shoulder, a gesture meant to be comforting and supportive, but is neither. Rick only lingers a moment longer, looking down at the cross marking Beth's final resting place, before wiping the tears from his eyes and walking away.

"I know we hate goodbyes," Daryl says. "I wish we had more time together."

_I'm not gonna leave you._

"Goodnight, Beth," Daryl says. Then he walks away, leaving her.

* * *

><p><em>The pain doesn't go away, we just make room for it… Bethy, sing Paddy Reilly for me… There's a new sheriff in town… Ain't gonna have your first drink be no damn peach schnapps… In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life…<em>

Beth Greene wakes up to darkness and silence.

_Where am I?_


End file.
